Still Raining

I feel like I've been kicked in my chest. I have a lump in the back of my throat that won't go away, it's been there since I woke up this morning. I feel stepped on, exhausted, angry, frustrated all at the same time but don't have the energy to show that's how I really feel. Most of all, I'm numb. I have that shattered, empty feeling that comes with disappointment. I hate the way I feel right now.

Stacey, Nick and Rich are all trying to get me to go to these bday parties tonight to get my mind off things. Stacey says it's for her 6 girlfriends and it will be a time that I won't forget, then I'm supposed to go to another party that starts at midnight for 4 of Rich's gfriends. Everyone means well but I feel like I'll only rain on everyone's parade. I'll go to the first bday party b/c I already told Stacey and Nick I would. I hope I'll be able to keep my shit together. Besides, it's at the Green Room and I hear that place is supposed to be pretty cool, I've always wanted to check it out.

Shit Amaya, what did you do?

Everyone says walk away from this one.