Nutten to it

No Amaya this weekend. I received a text message from her yesterday afternoon saying that there was trouble in Brookville, Ohio but for peace of mind, she was ok. You would have thought she could have at least had the courtesy to call at some point before that since she was supposed to be in Chicago 48 hours earlier. I spoke with her sister on Sat evening and she was in the shower so I know she had some time to let me know what was happening, at least a 30 second phone call. I don't know what the circumstances are but the way her sister sort of laughed when I talked to her made me think I've been taken for a ride. So was Jarmon right in his prediction? Is that why she got so upset when he called bullshit on her? Maybe, I'm not even sure. Why would her mailbox be full then? Why didn't she call if she was in trouble? Why would she leave me waiting there until Sunday to reply to anything (especially when I know she could have called me on Sat)? I thought she loved me. Is this anyway to treat someone that you say you care for? I would have drove out there the moment I heard anything was wrong. I woke up from my 2 hour nap on Sat morning and checked all the Ohio local news on the internet just to see if I could find anything because I was so worried.

On top of it, I tried contacting her home on Friday night and kept getting in contact with her grandfather. Why does he keep picking up the fucking phone? Everytime I ask for Amaya and I make sure I am completely crystal fucking clear... he turns to grandma and asks her "He's looking for [replace with name that sounds like Amaya here]. Who's that?" And then grandma says "oh, just hang up". Believe me, this is not the kind of contact you need when you think there might be an emergency. I learned very quickly that he doesn't understand Rebecca but he does understand Becky. I finally got him to say that Becky wasn't around and a couple hangups from him on his end. At least I got some kind of answer although it did me pretty much no good.

So many questions that I don't think I'll ever get the answer to because it seems to be apparent that I was cut off for some ungodly reason like I did something wrong.

You would think that someone who has been treated so poorly, like some fucking animal by 2 "special" guys in her past would make sure to do anything to treat the guy that loves her most with something more than what I received this weekend.

As frustrated, worried and upset as I was yesterday, it was good to hear that she was ok. I know she must not care about me anymore to treat me like that, I just can't think of any circumstance where you couldn't contact someone unless you were in jail (which I still managed to do when I was being held), but it was a relief when I did hear something.

I don't even know what to say here. What can you say about what happened this weekend besides that it is probably the most bizarre set of cirmcumstances that I have ever been involved with?

Wind is out of the 'ole sails. Feeling low.