Deep Sigh of Relief

Just finished up my interview over at GS. It feels like so much pressure has been lifted off right now. It was only a prelim interview so I think they were just sizing me up to see if I would be a good fit. I think I made a really good impression. The guy that I would be reporting to seems like a great guy to work for. He appears demanding but fair and he has a good sense of humore. I really need to have a great team dynamic with where ever I decide to go. That team seems like a place where I would enjoy the work and more importantly, that company takes care of their employees. Ranked #1 for most prestigious financial firm to work at and ranked #1 for best quality of life. Tough to beat that.

Things were going good until Stef tried to email me today. Things are pretty much over b/w us. I really put a lot of faith in that girl and she turned out to be a big disappointment in the end. She thinks she really gets the overall picture and she really doesn't understand anything. She's young though. She's been through a lot, there's no denying that. But already at 24, that chick has defeated herself. She lives in the past. Her life is dictated primarily by past experiences... but just the bad ones. She stunts her growth with negativity. She says she knows what she wants, she doesn't have a clue. She has the potential of being super hot but she's self defeating. What a bummer.

In other news, I emailed MJ (from soccer) today. I told her that a bizarro MJ was working in my office now which is creepy true. It had been awhile, almost 2 years since we last emailed, so I didn't expect to hear anything in return. But she responded back, I forgot how much I really enjoyed her rhetoric. And to boot, she's beautiful. She's clever, witty and has a smile that could stop any guy in his tracks. I lay off on her b/c of all the girls I know that I will fuck up with dating, that's one I never wanted to lose. We had an incident where we went out and sort of hooked up. I guess it was a mistake b/c things were never the same after that. I definitely wanted more but I could tell she wasn't on the same page. It was better to go back to being friends rather than lose her. Is that how you know you really like someone? When you would rather torture yourself to keep her around than to express how you really feel and lose her forever? I don't know, if yes is the answer, then it's just another indicator that life is just fucked up.