It's Time for the Perculator (aka. Beyond Loserdome)

So I've been downloading all of my skeleton in the closet, guilty pleasure songs that I would never be allowed to play at any party. Topping the charts right now is "The Perculator" by Cajmere... oh, you know it so sing along...
"It's time for the Perculator,
It's time for the Perculator,
It's time for the Perculator,
It's time for the Perculator,
It's time for the Perculator, [dewww-wahhh]
It's time for the Perculator, [dewww-wahhh]
It's time for the Perculator, [dewww-wahhh]
It's time [do-da do dooga-do da-do dooga-do da-do]"... as so on and so forth. That's a lot harder to write phonetically than I thought it would be, I think I sang it back to myself about 50 times.

As you can see, it's a lyrical masterpiece. Every one of you that grew up in a school that wasn't completely White Snaked out would know this song. I told this one girl about my new prize purchase and she looked at me and goes (in her very valley girl way) "The Percu-what?"
Me: "Where did you go to highschool?".
Valley: "Uhhhh, like the northshore"
Me: "Well, that explains it. And just out of my own curiosity, so when was the first time you ever saw a black person? What, like 15 or 16 when your parents took you to Tiffany's on Michigan Ave for the first time?"
Valley: [death rays directed toward me]
Me: [shutting up while my boyz were still intact]

................................
In other news... SOME THINGS THAT SCARE ME, more specifically, WHY THE WOMEN AT WORK SCARE ME:
1. The women news anchors on CNN - that station is on the tvs at work all day and those chicks have so much damn makeup caked on their mugs that they don't even look human anymore.
2. The girl with the really hard handshake at work - when she shook my hand the first time, I had a flashback to when I was 8 and my drunk uncle was putting on his classic death grip handshake on me like the funny guy he is. There's nothing like torturing kids, not only are they smaller but weaker too.
3. The really buff girl at work - she really does compete at bodybuilding contests. She seems nice but her fake boobs portrude out of her body in this really unnatural way. On top of it, the Meathead Strut is no way I ever want to see a woman walk.
4. The hot girl with the hairy arms at work - I've talked about her before. I constantly debate in my head... would I fuck her if given the chance or have I really become that shallow that I would let that bother me enough to not do it? I really do lose sleep over this issue. I think I've come to the conclusion that I would just have to be really tanked, HOWEVER, if her gorilla arm hair grazed me, I think I would vomit on her.