Are FUPA's the new Fall fashion?

So I'm riding the el home yesterday when I came to the bizarre realization that I was surrounded by an inordinate amount of FUPAs.

Now this is a look that's typically common around the 'ole blue-hairs down at your neighborhood bingo parlor but it's not uncommon to see these around the menopausal hot flashers either. Then every once in awhile, there's that unfortunate girl who starts to develop her pouch in her 20s. My heart goes out to that group.

But for those of you who don't know, FUPA stands for Fat Upper Pussy Area. It's that area b/w the vaj and belly button that seems to puff out as women get older. And I have to admit that anytime I see really nice one, I have that urge to just hit it. For those old school Nintendo folks out there, I envision a similar reaction when you would hit King Hippo in his stomach in Mike Tyson's Punchout. It's also that same urge that I get to jump when I'm in really high places -- does anyone know what I'm talking about or am I alone on that one?

Anyway, I got a seat on the el yesterday afternoon and I had a nice one staring me in the face. I could feel my hand start to involuntarily make a fist and then I just wanted to reach out to give that bad boy one good pound, just one, no more. I would imagine it would be like hitting a 5 lb bag of marshmellows.

But once I looked around, I was surrounded by the FUPA front. I just would have loved to run through that car and lay a stamp on every one of them like I was playing that Whack-A-Mole game at Showbiz Pizza when I was a kid.

Sheeeeit, a guy can dream, can't he?