Random

It's amazing how writing on here means less and less with every entry. However, due to me terrible memory, I better write something or my experiences will be as good as if they never happened to begin with.

Today, I took the day off. I finished a big project at work at the end of last week and was able to catch on the normal, everyday bullshit of my job this week. I decided to reward myself with having a me day today. One of today's highlights involved going to the Art Institute for a lecture on fashion photography of the minds antipodes. You know, I will be the first to admit that I am a huge partier, sometimes the guy that doesn't make the smartest decisions and a slew of other things that can easily be picked out of this blog. However, one of things that I really am passionate about is my own development outside of the realms of job and the bullshit that goes along with being a typical 20 something in Chicago (shit, 30 is coming up soon). I pride myself on being that guy that can shoot a Jagr Bomb with the best of them while talking about the differences b/w the artistic ideals of impressionistic vs. post-impressionistic eras. Fyi, heads up out there, Renoir is my favorite for that time period, I could go on about that forever, but that's a discussion for a different time.

So today, I'm sitting in this auditorium, listening to this lecturer talk about fashion and it's effect of the zeitgeist of numerous time periods. In the 1950s portion of the lecture, an image of a Baroness (can't remember the country) on her wedding day gazing into a crystal ball...

How do you even do this kind of photograph any justice in written form. You can't.

Black and white shades.
Her focus.
The dedication.
The confidence and uncertainty expressed at the same time.
The hope.
That moment that was frozen in time.
The message that she sent without saying a word.
The beauty.

Why do I think about these things?
Why that?
Why am I different?
Why do I fight myself?
Why am I my own worst enemy?
Why can't I love myself?

Don't give up on me.
I will help you.
I will protect you.
I'll never let anything happen to you if you give me the chance.
The ultimate failure will be if I fail you.