Airing some dirty laundry...

THIS EMAIL CORRESPONDENCE IS A CHAIN OF EMAILS B/W ME AND WHATEVER SHE WAS IN MY LIFE. WATCH HOW SHE GOES FROM COMPLETELY CALM TO OUT OF HER FUCKING GOURD IN A COUPLE EMAILS.

ILL COMMENT THROUGHOUT THE MESSAGES IN CAPS TO KEEP YOU ABREAST OF WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

KEEP IN MIND THIS CHICK LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING, I THINK SHE MAY STILL MAY BE MARRIED AND MIGHT EVEN HAVE A KID. WHO KNOWS? WHO CARES? I DID KEEP IN TOUCH WITH HER FOR AWHILE AFTER THINGS WERE OVER BUT JUST FOR MY OWN AMUSEMENT.

I'M ONLY POSTING THIS B/C IT'S HILARIOUS TO ME AND REALLY POINTS OUT THE FACT THAT SHE IS TRULY INSTITUTIONAL MATERIAL.

ENJOY...

Good morning, Eric! [I GOT THIS TUES MORNING]

I'm writing this because I just returned home from my friends wedding, which by the way was beautiful! It may even be real love. The bride and groom have never had sex together...she's a virgin. Yay for her!

Which brings me here, I was randomly sending texts to my cell earlier tonight and I happened to send one to you. [YEAH RIGHT ONE... SHE SENT ME ABOUT 6 TEXTS A DAY, FOLLOWED WITH ABOUT 6 PHONE CALLS A DAY FOR THE LAST 4 MONTHS] Since we do chat on occasion. I didn't see any harm in it.
The question being "Would you marry someone you hadn't had sex with?" I was just doing a poll. Personally I find it stupid to not test drive your future husband, but I won't get into that. Thats not the purpose of this email. Your date or girlfriend-of-the-day whichever you prefer responded to my text as "Eric's in the bathroom. Were at a wedding. This is his girlfriend, Cameltoe. Stop contacting him." [SHE CALLED ALL THE GIRLS I WAS GOING TO OUT WITH CAMELTOE, SHE IS THE TRUE DEFINITION OF HATER]

[CLARIFICATION COMING UP LATER, MY FRIEND AND I DECIDED TO FUCK WITH HER WHILE I WAS AT A WEDDING AFTER WE RECEIVED HER TEXT]

My immediate reaction was utter disbelief! How could my sweet, my adoreable, my always honest Eric possibly lie about the fact that he has a girlfriend! I mean the guy is perfect, right?! And he would never lie! Only [HER NAME] could do that! It completely took me by surprise and I responded back to her as nice as possible. You know me--I'm so sweet, I give cavaties! [FUCKING BARF] I told her that You and I still talk and for her to mind her business. I also hinted to her that she should check with you because according to you, you didn't have a girlfriend! I was just stating the facts according to what I know is true. And we know Eric never lies! I was shocked to learn this, but I'm glad you're moving on because to me you're still not moving on! [FOR THE PAST 4 MONTHS, I'VE TOLD THIS GIRL I HATE HER, DON'T CALL ME, GO CHECK YOURSELF IN SOMEWHERE, GO FUCK SOMEBODY, I DON'T CARE, WHAT WILL I HAVE TO DO TO HAVE YOU STOP CONTACTING ME AND YET, I'M STILL NOT MOVING ON -- EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN DATING THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE SUMMER]

Why do you still call me? Why do you call me @ 3 am telling me that you had a bad dream? [SHE DID GET ME THERE, I DID CALL HER AT 3 AM ONCE A COUPLE MONTHS AGO BUT I WAS SO FUCKING DRUNK AND HORNY AND NEEDED SOMEONE TO GET ME OFF, EVEN IF IT WAS GOING TO BE PHONE SEX -- HEY! SOMETIMES DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES, WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE] We know that you have no feelings for me! You said that yourself. I have admitted my faults. I am coming to terms with them. I have learned a lesson from this horrible experience with you. I was wrong and I deeply regret wasting 9 months of my life on absolutely nothing!

I have asked for forgiveness from you. I have tried to be friends with you. As much of a friend you can be @ 16 hours away! [SHE LIVES OUTSIDE OF DC, AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT SHE SAYS] I felt extremely bad for everything that did happen and didn't happen between us. I have paid you for your ticket that I didn't buy [I NEVER RECEIVED THE MONEY], but you chose to buy yourself. You asked me for it, I did it simply because I felt that it would make peace between us. I wouldn't continue to feel indebted to you as you made me feel at times. I feel as if I have gone to great lengths and I think I have honestly earned your forgiveness.

After tonight though, I had an ephiphany. I have too much pride to waste time and energy on you. To be perfectly honest with you, I feel that I've done all that I can to help you. I no longer want to have contact. I no longer want to see emails from you. I no longer want you to call me. I don't want you to call and wake me up @ 3 am. I don't want you in my business. I don't want any sort of anything with you! I have gone above and beyond what any other chic would do. I refuse to lose pride over this. [BELIEVE ME, THE LAST THING THIS CHICK HAS IS PRIDE]

I wish you the best in all that you set out to accomplish. Please do not respond, do not call. I'm going to delete all of my methods of contact that I have for you and I sincerly hope that you do the same. This is whats best for both of us.

All the best,
[HER NAME]

[COMMENTARY: OK, NOT A BAD MESSAGE, SHE MAKES HERSELF LOOK AS PURE AS THE VIRGIN MARY WHICH IS A LOAD OF CRAP IF YOU KNEW THE SITUATION BUT I DECIDED THAT I WANTED TO STIR THE POT A LITTLE MORE, I WASN'T GOING TO LET HER GET AWAY ON A HIGH NOTE. IT WAS TIME TO BRING THE TRUE WHITE TRASH OUT]
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I just got this letter this morning, I was out yesterday, haven't been feeling well lately. But I hope that message made you feel better about yourself. The only reason you've been contacting me is for your own selfishness. You feel bad about something you did and you can't believe that someone who's as nice as yourself could have such a bad mark on her record. So you've finally found you're reason to peg me as the bad guy and that's all you've needed.

Well, I did always tell you the truth and it's hard to believe that you would believe a couple text messages that came your way after everything we've gone through. It says a lot about you really.

By the way, that was Holly from my friends Holly and Jules I talk about occasionally. True, I was in the bathroom [OK, I DID LIE ABOUT THAT, I WAS ACTUALLY THERE WHEN SHE DID IT LAUGHING MY ASS OFF] but in no way, shape or form is Holly my girlfriend [AND SHE'S NOT, I'M SINGLE RIGHT CURRENTLY]. In fact, I won't consider dating anyone seriously for a long time. You have yourself to thank for that b/c you've ultimately made me a worse person. [UNFORTUNATELY, SHE REALLY HAS, I HAVE A HARDER TIME TRUSTING PEOPLE THESE DAYS AND I'M NOT TOO FOND ABOUT THAT, I LIKE TO BE ABLE TO TRUST PEOPLE] I take the blame on it though b/c I continued to believe your lies. [IT IS MY FAULT, I WILL ADMIT, I BOUGHT INTO HER LIES, SHAME ON ME]

Anyway, so Holly was holding my cell when you texted and she was the one who exchanged texts with you. Why? B/c she doesn't like you and she doesn't want me to have any contact with you. But then again, none of my friends like you. They all think you're a heartless coward who just knows how to mess with guys heads. I wish I could say they were wrong.

Funny how you sent that email and then you contact me a million times yesterday. And about what? Oprah tickets? What would make you think that I would even get them for you if I could? Do I owe you something? You've got a lot of nerve. [I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE ASKED ME TO GO WAIT IN LINE TO GET HER OPRAH TIX AFTER SHE LEFT ME THAT LAST MESSAGE, WHAT A WEIRDO]

I saw 8 missed calls from you yesterday on my work phone, 3 or 4 on my cell, and 2 text messages. This is true for most weekdays in case you haven't noticed but I guess I'm the one who contacts you. Right. So please do the courtesy of not contacting me anymore and I will gladly do the same. You're right, you don't owe me anything.

I'm glad to hear that you have finally come around to the fact that we shouldn't have any contact with one another.

[COMMENTARY: I KNEW THAT THIS WOULD BE ENOUGH TO START THAT TWITCH GOING IN THE CORNER OF HER CRAZY EYE. I MAY HAVE NOT KNOWN ALL THAT MUCH OF THE TRUTH WITH HER BUT I DID COME TO LEARN HOW TO PUSH HER BUTTONS]

[GET READY FOR THE INSANITY BOMB TO GET DROPPED B/C IT'S PARTY TIME]
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I don't give a fuck who text messaged me. I've never been impressed by your bimbo, crackhead friends. That was nothing to me." Lip Fucking Service" [THAT'S ALL SHE CARES ABOUT IS WHAT ANYONE THINKS ABOUT HER]
2. I don't give 2 shits about what your friends or you think. You know this by my actions. Take notes.
3. I am a horrible person to people I don't like....You know this! [I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT]
4. I'm glad that you don't like me, honestly I hate you as well. Never have really liked you. [THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE, THIS CHICK SAID SHE COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT ME NUMEROUS TIMES, EVEN AFTER I STOPPED CONTACTING HER]
5. I didn't contact you a million times. Don't flatter yourself. I left you a vm on your work phone and cell phone and a text, maybe two. Get over yourself. If you were that great, you and I wouldn't be corresponding through a computer...get that? [THIS BROAD CONTACTED ME A MILLION TIMES EVERYDAY, THE ONLY REASON I DIDN'T GET A RESTRAINING ORDER ON HER WAS THAT SHE LIVED HALFWAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY. SHE IS THE TRUE DEFINITION OF STALKER. I FEEL SORRY FOR ANY GUY THAT COMES ACROSS HER]
6. I only asked you for help getting the tickets because I thought maybe you'd be good for something. [YEAH RIGHT, ANY REASON TO CONTACT ME WAS MORE LIKE IT]
7. YOU know that I can go on and never contact you, you've been the bitch that has always contacted me. [JUST KIDDING HERSELF AND ANOTHER LIE]
8. You do infact owe me, you owe me 9 months of my life back. Complete waste. [I OWE HER FOR LYING TO ME I GUESS, LIKE THAT MAKES SENSE]
9. I am selfish, get over it. [NOW THAT'S THE TRUTH! SHE IS THE MOST SELF-ABSORBED PERSON I HAVE COME ACROSS] Get over me. Get fucked. [FUNNY SHE SHOULD SAY THAT, I'VE GOTTEN FUCKED PLENTY OF TIMES SINCE I STOPPED CONTACTING HER 5 MONTHS AGO]
10. You're nothing. [LIE] You were never anything really. [LIE] You were only there for me when I was going through rough times. [TRUTH] I used you. [VERY TRUE] I didn't even like you from the start. [LIE] You know this.
11. You're not my type. [LIE] I have never been attracted to such pussys. [JUST TRYING TO GET A RISE OUT OF ME -- NOT WORKING]
12. As far as i'm concerned you no longer exsist. [LIE] Get lost. [I'VE BEEN OUT FOR A LONG TIME NOW] Pussy. [WEAK ATTEMPTS AT MORE RISE]

Yours Truly,
[HER NAME]

PS--I fucked T. Multiple times :) [T WAS SUPPOSEDLY JUST A FRIEND] [THAT PROBABLY IS TRUE OR SHE'S JUST SAYING IT TO TRY TO GET MORE OF A RISE - VERY WEAK ATTEMPT]
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I hope that makes you feel better b/c it really didn't do anything for me either way. I will say it was a really mature message from beginning to end, especially the HAHA in the subject line. You'll always be a liar, even to yourself which is the funniest part. And even to deny that you didn't call me a million times everyday is hilarious. The most recent example, 8 missed phone calls when I was out on Monday. [THAT WAS JUST MY WORK LINE]

Hey, I'm not going to sit here and call you names, and whatever else you're trying to do with that humorous msg. The fact is, I'm over you, I've been over you for a long time, I don't know how I could've been more clear.

So go back to messing up your own life and everyone you come across.

P.S. Just remember, look both ways before crossing the street. [SHE GOT HIT BY A CAR CROSSING THE STREET LAST OCT AND TORE HER ACL -- IM SURE IT WAS A LIE THOUGH]
[ALRIGHT, SO MAYBE I TOSSED IN A LOW BLOW BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY]

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I ASKED YOU NOT TO CONTACT ME! [THAT'S HER YELLING THAT IN EMAIL]

But while I'm here, Blah, blah, blah --- I didn't call you 8x's...You wish. I never called you 8x's in a day when you thought we were on good terms. You're not over me. [WRONG] You haven't been. [WRONG] You're lying. [I DON'T LIE] Otherwise you wouldn't have contacted me all the times you have, via email or midmorning random phone calls. You wouldn't. [NEVER CONTACTED HER ONCE BESIDES THAT ONE TIME AT 3 AM] [EXPLANATION: SOMETIMES I WOULD PICK UP AT WORK B/C SHE CAME UP AS PRIVATE (1ST SIGN OF MAJOR STALKER) WHICH IS ALSO THE SAME WAY THE CORP OFFICE CAME UP SO I HAD TO ANSWER THE PHONE... OR I WOULD ANSWER JUST TO TELL HER TO STOP CALLING ME AT WORK]

I seriously wish you would though... [I DON'T] It's time to move on and stop whining to me about how I fucked you up. [TRUE, I DID MENTION IT BUT I DON'T WHINE ABOUT IT] The truth is you've always been fucked up. [I'M FUCKED UP IN FUN, FREAKY WAYS BUT THAT'S ABOUT IT] You know that. You act as if I totally ruined you. I did lie to you. A lot. [THE TRUTH, FINALLY] I admit it was wrong, but it's time to turn the damn page! [I'M GLAD TO HEAR SHE'S MOVING ON FINALLY]

And don't respond! Kindly,
[HER NAME]
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[I'M HAVING FUN NOW SO I SENT MY ONE LAST MESSAGE THIS MORNING]

That's funny, my call log doesn't lie. I also know that you were crying last week b/c I said we should go our separate ways. [SHE DID CATCH ME WITH A 1 AM PHONE CALL WHEN I WAS ASLEEP LAST WEEK THAT I DIDNT CHECK THE CALLER ID ON, MY FAULT] Remember that, you begging me like the weak person you are? You acting hysterical b/c I didn't want to talk to you anymore? [YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD HER, IT WAS PATHETIC AND I WAS LAUGHING ON THE OTHER END OF THE PHONE] I know what I heard and you know what you did. But you do whatever you have to do to deny the truth of the matter, that's pretty much the only thing you're good at.

And thanks for the crappy tie you got on the clearance rack. I pitched it in the trash as soon as I got it. [THAT SHIT IS GONE, WHAT WAS SHE THINKING SENDING ME THAT?] You're taste in clothing is about as good as your ability to tell the truth.

Has anyone ever told you that you are clinically insane??? [A QUESTION I'M SURE SHE'S BEEN ASKED BY MANY PEOPLE THROUGHOUT HER LIFE]
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Ok, ok, I'm stupid for responding, I know I shouldn't have but watching her blow up does amuse me... call me immature, call me a jerk but I'm in my last couple weeks at this job, things are slow and I need some things to entertain me.

I hope no one out there feels sorry for her. Imagine the most selfish, shallow, unintelligent, manipulative, dishonest people you know, mix them into one person and you get this girl. Everyone has weak points in their lives and unfortunately, she got me at one of those low points. It's a shame on me for getting involved, it was my fault with going against my gut when it came to her. The important thing is that truth eventually came out and I've been over for quite awhile now.

But does that mean I can't have fun with it???