The Zoomeye vs. The Stalker

Nick's come down with a bad case of something that most men have trouble overcoming... yep, you guessed it, a stalker. Now, he's probably done enough in his past to warrant this kind of attack just through bad karma on the hook-up scene... shit, I gotta go now. I'll cover this later.

Amaya (part II)

So after I got some work done this morning I decided to send some flowers over to the Amaya G. She's the first person I've ever sent flowers to so I hope I made a good choice in the arrangement. I called her twice today and she hasn't called back yet. Since she doesn't have all that much responsibility due that she's recovering and I didn't hear anything about her having to go to the doctor today, I guess it's safe to assume that she's not entirely happy with me. I wonder how long I will get the silent treatment. If it get to 5 my time (the flowers should be there by then) and I haven't heard from her, I'll assume that she's definitely not speaking to me. This is so frustrating that I have to deal with this kind of treatment from here, especially all this crazy, unneeded drama. I don't know what I can do to make things better, if I knew, there's no question that I would do it.

Frustrated... and my day has only just started

I just arrived to work and I can feel the frustration building already. This is primarily due to a conversation with Amaya last night. I don't even know what to do, but it seems like every time we talk, she makes me feel bad about myself. I know she's not feeling well and just got out of surgery yesterday so I'm trying to be careful about what I say b/c she seems overly sensitive. I'm very interested to hear how she's feeling and what's going on with her but I feel when I say anything, it's always the wrong thing to say. It gets really tiring to sit there and be serious all the time. Plus, whatever happened to the laughter-is-the-best-medicine theory... of course, that entails that you have to be funny first which has Amaya has ensured me that I'm not. I know I'm not being all that funny but I'm trying my best to lighten the mood and get her mind off her pain. But I can't help it if that's all she wants to focus on is not feeling well.

I just don't understand the mentality. However, just b/c I don't understand it doesn't make me any more justified in my thinking of what's right and wrong. I want to be there for her and I think she wants me to be there for her, but I think she wants me around less and less everyday. With her being overly sensitive lately about everything, it seems like I'm being used as her venting tool b/c she can't take it out on her family so she turns it on the only person she doesn't have to see. That's fine with me, as long as this doesn't keep up. I just figure she needs time for the wounds and mental state to heal. But she's got to understand that her fight starts in her head. A positive mental attitude is going to make her recovery go a lot faster and smoother. She has all the ingredients there for a PMA as well... she's surrounded by love and people that care for her and she's even got someone who's always thinking about her in Chicago, what more do you need?

All of sudden, a call from Married Mike the other day while she's in a weakened state. He plays his cards well from what I know about him. He wasn't aggressive or didn't even sound assertive for that matter. What a scumbag that guy is. Any man that would do what he did to such a genuine heart like Amaya's is fucking filth. That guy deserves the worst in life and one day he'll get his. Anyway, I know he'll be making a push again soon and why wouldn't you keep pursuing her? Amaya is amazing. I would care for her in her current state or any other state. However, I feel like if things continue on the course they are on right now, I will eventually be phased out of her life.