California Dreamin'

"I left my wallet in El Segundo,
left my wallet in El Segundo,
I gotta get it, got, got to get it"

Just a little old school Tribe for you people out there. It was my theme song over the weekend b/c I drove through there and listened to it. What a dork, I know. Actually, I got it stuck in my head and couldn't stop singing it the whole weekend. It's a completely ridiculous song. I'm sure for those of you that know it will agree with me. I mean with lyrics like...
"I ordered enchiladas,
and I ate 'em,
Ali had the fruit punch"
...
...uh yeah...
...
it really doesn't get more ridiculous, but you can't produce a winner everytime I guess.

Anyway, on with the recap. So, I got back on Sunday from my first trip in California. And believe me, it won't be my last. Before I move on, I want to thank everyone for sending me some tips on what I should do for that situation with that girl. I'll explain later what happened with her.

So Thurs night I flew into LAX. When I was descending on LA at 8:30 at night I noticed these white lines jetting out from the city and I came to the surprising realization that those lines of light were actually headlights and that was traffic. Holy shit, it's really as bad as they say here about the freeways. Who knews that the next day, I would be behind one of those pair of lights doing the bend-me-over commute from OC to LA. Ugh, it gets me sick to even think about it.

Sara picked me up from the airport and we hit up Club Sushi in Hermosa Beach. Awesome food. I thought it was going to be a little more clubby, it was actually more Sports Bar with a little edge but fun nonetheless. Like a loser, I did actually do a quick glance around for Teresa since it was one of her favorite places but to no surprise she wasn't there. Afterwards, we hit up some Irish Bar on the boardwalk over there. I have to admit, I felt like shit from the time I took off that day, I had been battling a cold from 2 days prior but I wanted to push on that night b/c I was only there for such a short period of time. Unfortunately, after one drink at the Irish place, I had to call it quits.

We headed back to her car and as soon as we got in this younger guy, dressed a little thug, knocks on my window. I'm thinking to myself, "shit, they're pretty ballsy around here to ask for change right at your window". But instead he tells us that he saw the car behind us scratch up Sara's bumper when he was parallel parking. I sort of felt like a shithead to think the guy was going to ask for change to begin with but I'm so used to it in Chicago. So we called the cops and that started a very long process that I didn't need to be involved in, I just wanted to get home to bed but we needed to get this straightened out.

The cops finally found this guy in one of the clubs with the owner and got him outside. He came with the owner and his poor girlfriend who hadn't eaten anything since 1993. She might have tricked you into thinking she was healthy with her large rack. But since they were as stiff as a body ridden with rigormortis (sp?), you knew they had to be fake. I think she may have had butt impants too but I couldn't get that good of a look. These guys and the girl were so coked out of their gourds which I thought was pretty funny. The cops knew the owner so they weren't going to really do anything. The girl asked me for a cigarette and since it was so windy out, I lit it in my own mouth for her. She tried to shield the light with her arms and all I thought was "Hey babe, it's windy, fuck the stick and grab onto a tree so your ass doesn't blow away". Instead, she got to close to the flame and burned herself. Of course she blamed me and I just said "well, be careful", so instead of a thanks, she hits me in my chest and walks away. Ah, really nice. Don't worry hun, nothing a little snow that won't make that pain go away.

We did finally make it out of there after they finished exchanging information and Capt Douche attempted a half dozen times, each time with a different story, as to how it could have happened. He dropped how he was the Athletic Director at USC to the cops like that was supposed to change anything but unfortunately for him, they didn't take the bait.

The next day, we woke up sort of late and I had my first experience with...
Drum roll please... ... In N Out Burger. Fucking fantastic place! Awesome burgers and even nice service for a fast food joint. I'm convinced it was the same burger that they used for the Big Kahuna burger that Samuel Jackson was eating in Pulp Fiction.

Later that day, I had the pleasure of driving from Tustin to Hollywood. Now this trip is only about 30-35 miles. Now I was wondering why Sara wanted to get going by 5:00 to make 8:30 dinner reservations. After the trek to LA, I understood why. It took us 2 hrs 15 min to get to her friends place in LA. Holy shit, I heard that traffic was bad out there but I really had no idea. 6 lanes bumper to bumper, going no where. Definitely a product of a city that has no mass transit system.

We went to Asian de Cuba for dinner. It was this Japanese/Cuban fusion restaurant in this hotel that had a trendier, modern feel to it. I have to say, being from Chicago, I know what a good mashed potato tastes like but never tasted any as good as the lobster mashed potatoes there. Everything was wonderful.

Afterwards, we went next door to Skybar. Very cool bar that was all open, pool, beds everywhere and glass windows lining the outside to look out on the landscape of LA. All drop dead gorgeous women around. Apparently, Skybar, which I guess was supposed to be one of the more premier places in LA at one time, must have lost some of its popularity. I only say that b/c we got right in without having to wait. I would have liked to think it was my charm but who am I kidding, the place must had to be over it's peak. No surprise in the fickle scene of the be-seen world. Needless to say, there were a ton of hot women everywhere and people were cool and laid back.

Sunday was the wedding up in Pasadena. And just to point something out about the wedding that I found pretty humorous was that I was the only white guy there and Sara was the only asian. Everyone else was hispanic. It was no big deal, it was a lot of fun but it was just funny to me and Sara. The groom who actually looked pretty thug, like one of the hispanic guys who were sitting around the poker table with Denzel in Training Day, actually was an FBI agent in the gang unit. You wouldn't be able to tell by looking at him but as soon as he opened his mouth, you knew that he was well educated and intelligent. Some of his stories were amazing.

Then there was this girl there who was smoking hot. She looked like she was maybe 21 and had a lot of attitude. She was actually an FBI agent in the gang unit as well. It was pretty crazy to hear some of their stories.

Anyway, after the wedding, Sara and I went to some cheesy bar with a bull ride machine. I just sat there and laughed my ass off as drunk guy after drunk guy got their ass tossed. I may have been wasted but I wasn't wasted enough to think I could ride that thing.

After that bar closed we headed back to the hotel and I had a sever case of the munchies. Everything after 2 am in Cali closes, it's ridiculous. There wasn't one pizza joint open. So I called down to room service to see if they could make me one of their gourmet PB&J's for the low, low price of $13.50. At that price, why not get two, right? Wrong. Those fuckers wouldn't even make it for me b/c it wasn't on their late night menu. I brought it up a second time to re-informed them that it was indeed a peanut butter and fucking jelly sandwich that I was asking for and not a Thanksgiving turkey. They didn't budge. Well, it was time to take things into my own hands. It's amazing how motivated you can get when you're hungry.

I went into the lobby to the porter by the front door to ask him where I could go. He told me everything was closed. I told him, there's no way, something is open. So he looked around like he was making sure the coast was clear and he tells me about this mexican place about 5 blocks away. I told him to just point me in the direction and I'll be on my way. He told me that I couldn't walk there and that he would have to get my car. I told him, first that I don't have a car and second, I can't drive in the condition that I'm in. He said he was sorry. So I had to turn it up a notch on him "Listen, you know of this place, you look hungry, I'm hungry... you fly, I buy... lets make this happen". The poor guy was still on his shift but it was almost 3 am by this time and he was hungry, I could tell. He told me to meet him around the corner outside of the hotel. The guy picked me up and we hit the shadiest shit hole of a "restaurant" which was basically a mobile home that flung burritos out the back. When we pulled up, he told me not to pull out a wad of cash, just have a $20 ready. Mind you, I'm still in my suit. We go get in line and it was crasian nation (crazy asian for those who don't know the reference) all around us. The guy orders for me, we got our food and got the fuck out of dodge. I thought I was going to get butterflied in the back. Of course, my eyes were too big for my stomach, I took about 2 bites when I got back to the room and passed out.

All in all the trip was a lot of fun. With the whole Sara predicament, I think I made my intentions clear from the beginning when I was commenting on all the hot women I saw everywhere I looked. I pretty much wanted to diffuse any potential situation before it even had a chance to happen. I think it worked and we just had a fun time.

Sorry there were no really awesome stories but the trip was exactly what I needed, just a little R&R time.