Thanksgiving Eve (aka Amateur Night)

Ah yes, Thanksgiving Eve, the second, if not the biggest night to go out in Chicago. Unfortunately, what that entails is everyone and their mother floods the bars in the greater metropolitan area. And I'm not kidding, I hooked up with someone's mother a couple years ago, she may have even been yours. If anyone's worried, don't, your mom still doesn't take in the pooper, however, she did wail like a banshee when I had her legs pegged behind her head. So I guess the real question is where is your mom tonight?

I really don't know why the hell I'm going to torture myself this year with venturing out into The Amateurs Night but I guess I'm a masochist at heart. What can I say?

Who will I bump into?
-Could it be a group of Schaumburgian Johnnies with fake IDs that all want to fight everything that looks their way?
-Or the girl who's way too drunk on the dance floor and getting groped by one of the aforementioned Johnnies?
-Or the really drunk guy who wants to be everyone's friend but says really weird things like his fascination with cow tipping?
-Or the girl that's way too excited to see her friends and shrieks every 5 minutes at a level that can break glass, more importantly, the glass holding my K1 & tonic. The only redeeming factor in running into this chick is watching how her "friends" aren't as excited to see her, giving her the look like "Oh fuck, how did she find us here, we told her we were going to Haiti for Thxgiving"
-Or will I see the underage girl that doesn't know any drink outside of an Amaretto Stone Sour? (And if you're reading this right now and saying "Oh Jeethuth, I like thothe thstone thours", well guess what? You're a fag.)

Oh, the rogue squadron will be out to play this evening. The only thing we can hope for is... hmmm, I don't know what to hope for. Well, since there most likely won't be any good coming out of this night, lets just hope for some entertainment.

Happy Black Wednesday All!