Trying to Keep Things on the Down Lo

So the girl who I've wrote about in a couple entries recently randomly found my blog. Actually, it wasn't all that random. I gave her the address to Timmy's blog b/c he's the man and everyone should read it. Before that she didn't even know what a blog was. So through peoples comments and what not, she went from blog to blog, stopping on the ones she liked, and then eventually kept going through. She really likes the comments section (according to her). So she ends up at one where she sees my roommate's name (which is pretty unique) and then after reading for a couple minutes, she figures out that it is me. Needless to say that sort of sucks b/c, I sometimes write out of blind rage some would say, as I'm sure you will attest Armaedes.

I do write when I am most annoyed or really just have something on my mind b/c I don't like sharing issues with my friends and others. I find this outlet to be fairly therapeutic. And when I write, I write as I am in that moment. Unfortunately, some of the things I've said about someone that I consider special was read by that person. And of course, when I write, it usually focuses in on the negative b/c that's when I feel the need to write. I don't feel bad about what I wrote b/c it's what I felt at that time, however, I feel bad b/c there's tons of great qualities that should be pointed out with her as well. Anyway, this was her reaction to reading my blog...

E to the _

Since I got to your blog I'll give you something...this is what I'm thinking at the moment....You have a wall up just as much as I do. Since I'm the gemini and have multiple personalities I seem to only give half no...1/3... 1/4 of me. I tend to act all silly, entertaining!!!, the I don't give a fuck, in the face, sarcastic, etc. I do that cuz whats the point of giving 100%, when they don't stick around. I guess it would just hurt more. Do you know what I mean???? It's exactly what you said "I'm fun and make you laugh and always a good time"My ADD is in full effect and my thoughts are racing, my brain hurts.

Last night when we talked about just turning it off. Well congratulations E go put on the winner medal I gave....cuz you just earned it. I don't know if that is good or bad. It's hard for me cuz I think about all the amazing fun times...here is a little recap (since you just vented the shitty)

shopping w/ my rules
dressing room laughs
watching movies and you getting mad when I talk
bugging Jarm
Subway...only the green
naughty cab rides..hello tits
lap dance @ Burtons
C off the tits
constanly laughing
red lobster
cumming hard on the cock screaming O's
E saying I think it's ___ bedtime
laughing and being gay
laying in bed watching movies
gay fights
tickle tickle fights
being silly sarcastic mean to each other
laughing at cok whores
my crazy stories I tell
Sibby drinking w/ E
me sayin E-R-I-C when you do something gay
laughing

So E it is hard to turn it off when 98% off the time I truly enjoy hanging out w/ you. I can't say that about most. Mainly I like it cuz it was just fun no strings attached...just pure good old natural fun. Fuck why not...whats so wrong about a down ass bitch. God I love when I get all ghetto.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!! You know what hurts is it seems you hated the sexual shit....THAT HURTS. You wrote it. Cuz I thought and it seemed like you liked it.

I guess I wish, I mean Fuck I miss how it was. Just being all silly and gay w/ a little L..and nothing more.

FOR REAL E FUCK FUCK FUCK...how many times did I say FUCK

L to the E

email/call me if you want to....

OK, that was the end....................................Ugh, I really do enjoy her company. I've just never experienced someone with so many crazy episodes (some are easy to deal with, others aren't). Obviously, we haven't been communicating as well as I thought.

But after her list of the good experiences in that message, it just showed me that I have this tendency to focus on the negative. I really hate that about myself and I am consistently working at changing that. I'm a tough customer though, I expect a lot out of myself and the people I hang out with. When you always see your life as this ongoing project or something that needs constant development, you forget about all the good things that you have. You forget to stop and smell the roses every once in awhile so to speak.

A couple more things that I would like to add to her list so I don't forget:

1. When I got my new job, she had her kids (she's works with special ed kids in elementary) make me a little medal to hang around my neck that said "winner". I wore that thing everyday for about 2 weeks. Even if L wasn't around, I would come home from work and throw it on. I know, I'm a dork. We would go out together and I would act like a jackass (can you imagine that?) . She would tell me to stop and my response would be "I don't have to b/c I'm the big winner" as I would point to my medal.

2. She also worked with her kids to make me a card that congratulated me on my new job and they all signed it. Then she gave me a really nice bottle of Veuve champagne with it. It was so incredibly nice and I was completely taken off guard.

3. She surprised me with Bears preseason tickets and we went together one Thursday night. She did get eye raped by this one guy but we laughed our asses off about it b/c he was such a chotch.

4. BJ on the beach.

5. Left/Right/Center.

6. Mex dominos.

7. Her flashing the other rooftop from my rooftop and falling off her chair hitting every body part on the table on the way down. Fucking best fall ever.

8. And most importantly, as much as she drives me crazy sometimes, she makes me laugh all the time.

Are FUPA's the new Fall fashion?

So I'm riding the el home yesterday when I came to the bizarre realization that I was surrounded by an inordinate amount of FUPAs.

Now this is a look that's typically common around the 'ole blue-hairs down at your neighborhood bingo parlor but it's not uncommon to see these around the menopausal hot flashers either. Then every once in awhile, there's that unfortunate girl who starts to develop her pouch in her 20s. My heart goes out to that group.

But for those of you who don't know, FUPA stands for Fat Upper Pussy Area. It's that area b/w the vaj and belly button that seems to puff out as women get older. And I have to admit that anytime I see really nice one, I have that urge to just hit it. For those old school Nintendo folks out there, I envision a similar reaction when you would hit King Hippo in his stomach in Mike Tyson's Punchout. It's also that same urge that I get to jump when I'm in really high places -- does anyone know what I'm talking about or am I alone on that one?

Anyway, I got a seat on the el yesterday afternoon and I had a nice one staring me in the face. I could feel my hand start to involuntarily make a fist and then I just wanted to reach out to give that bad boy one good pound, just one, no more. I would imagine it would be like hitting a 5 lb bag of marshmellows.

But once I looked around, I was surrounded by the FUPA front. I just would have loved to run through that car and lay a stamp on every one of them like I was playing that Whack-A-Mole game at Showbiz Pizza when I was a kid.

Sheeeeit, a guy can dream, can't he?