2 more things that make me want to poop...

Where was I... I think 15...

15. People who wear sunglasses on the el - I ride the Blue Line, it's a fucking subway. Why the hell would you wear sunglasses on the subway? It wasn't even sunny this morning. Everyone knows that if your wearing sunglasses on the el, especially if you're a guy, you're just eye raping as many girls as possible. I don't know what womens excuses are. Either way, for all you out there who that, you're a chotch.

I can't believe I almost forgot this one...
16. People who say/type heart instead of love or like - For instance "I really heart the way Lance schlobs my knob". Guys who do this are especially in tune with their gayness.

"Oh, but EZ, it's so cute"

Oh, but it's not, it makes me want to spew chunks out of my anal cavity