The 15 item catch up list

1. I resigned from my position at a top investment firm and now I am happy.
2. Bisexual women are bigger cockblocks than any guy could ever be.
3. Princess cancelled on me last second for the wedding tomorrow.
4. It was actually my fault b/c I originally told her the wrong date and now she can't get off of work at Rockit.
5. Movies on the rooftop started last week. There's also something about watching porn outside from your hottub that just seems like you're cheating life.
6. I woke up at 4 am this morning and masturbated 5 times before I got ready for work. I rock.
7. My roommate and I were so fucked up last weekend I think we talked about double teaming a chick that was over. Funny thing is that would have happened in her babysitting friend wasn't there. In retrospect, I'm glad her friend was there.
8. I was so fucked up the other weekend. How fucked up you ask? I had 2 naked chicks in my hottub at 4 am and I decide that's the time to go get more cigarettes, I actually thought the one girl wanted some. I arrived at the gas station wearing a skully, blue tinted sunglasses and a tie wrapped around my head. After I bought the cigarettes, I proceeded to buy a gangsta do-rag in baby blue. I chose that color b/c according to the cashier that was what the "in" gang was wearing around town. I then managed to get approached wearing my do-rag by 2 young hispanic gentleman. Fortunately, and I can't really remember why I had this on me, but I was able to pull out my butterfly knife that I happened to have on me. In a moment of confusion from both sides, some yelling took place and I turned and ran. I had to look like the biggest crackhead ever. I also managed to get slightly lost on my way home which is very perplexing seeing that it is a straight 2 1/2 block shot from my front door to the gas station. I finally made it back to the hottub with the cigarettes. The one girl I thought wanted them actually said that she didn't want any cigarettes. Go figure.
9. Hosted a pre-party and post-party at my place for the Infusion, Luke Cable, Phil K show last weekend. We had about 20 people in the crew. Very worthy.
10. My one girlfriend brought a Serbian girl that hardly spoke english. She was fucking smoking. My friend Pat got that by the end of the night. But the bisexual girl gave made him earn it. That girl has cockblocking down to a science, I tell ya.
11. A girl sucked my dick the other weekend. I stuck my finger in her ass while she did it. She liked it. Then she stopped everything cold and told me she had gotten raped. It was out of context. I was confused. We went to bed. But I held her.
12. I'm going to happy hour today at McFaddens. Sounds shitty but I know lots of girls that are going. Could I possibly find a date for the wedding tomorrow? Probably not anyone that isn't completely fucking psycho. I'll just probably end up taking that woman who lives under the el again. No teeth = Top notch BJ
13. I want to fuck this married woman at work. Who cares?
14. I introduced myself to this I-banker that works on my floor. I like her b/c she has huge tits. In fact, that's the only reason I like her.
15. That same girl wrote me a random email asking if I knew what there was to do around Chicago during the summer b/c she just moved here. I figured I was in prime titty fucking pole position. Well I thought wrong. We had a lunch date. She was some stuck up snob from NYC whose only interests in life were how much she could consume in material possessions and fancy food. I think the story about the midget at my last party was the straw that broke that camel's back with her feelings towards me. You could tell she was the girl who likes to go places to be seen rather than the person who fucking lives it when she goes out. People like that? Forget about it, already fucking dead in my book. But who am I kidding? I would still titty fuck her. It would be fun b/c she would be the kind of girl that you would "aim" for the eye during money shot time.